Category Archives: Blog Entry


November 4th 2014 saw me give my first ever poem at a Toastmasters meeting. It was at Corrib Toastmasters and I was desperate to impress so I wrote one. A few years later this poem became quite special to me as it went on to inspire a speech that did quite well.

Don’t expect something brilliant written, I’m not a poet. Also, this is better heard than it is read due to some of emphasis I put on certain words. Anyway, here goes.


There are many firsts to be had in your life.
First house, first car, first husband, or wife.
Your very first concert or first time out alone,
The first time you successfully found your way home.

Regardless of size your very first pet.
And your very first love whom you’ll never forget
You see them a far and even though you’re a teen,
You know they’re oh my god the most amazingly awesomest person you ever have seen!

You get some paper and your first fountain pen,
You write your first note that begins “Dear Ben…”
But wait, what do I write, what do I say?
Does Ben even know that I’m gay?

And there’s another first for this fourth of November.
Although I don’t hide it I can’t really remember
Ever announcing I’m gay to the groups that I see,
As it’s nothing major, it’s just me.

To groups I don’t remember a time I “came out”
It was just something everyone already knew about.
I didn’t mince or squeak or claim I was spectacular,
Mother just said “That’s him, he’s a bit peculiar.”

But what about Ben? What if he’s straight?
The infatuation is there it’s already too late!
Oh who am I kidding, you know what the girls say!
All the good ones are married or gay!

But back to my Ben and the unwritten letter,
“Dear Ben,” a good start, but it had to get better.
I sat and I thought and I paced round the room,
This missive had to be good to make him my groom!

You see this wasn’t just lust or first school boy crush,
This was first love, Ben was dreamy and lush!
I decided a letter wasn’t the best,
I’d talk to him first and get it all off my chest.

I stood by his classroom door and waited,
Suddenly there he was, my breath was bated.
He brushed past me and his bag touched my hand!
In my head I’d planned the invites and was booking the band.

Ours would be a summer wedding and we’d both be in blue
We’d write our own vows first leading up to “I do!”
We’d honeymoon at Disneyland because he’d never been,
It’d be the most fabulous wedding you’d ever seen.

Girls would be crying because I’d stolen their guy
But my friends would be happy and saying OH MY GOD YOU LOOKED AMAZING I COULD JUST DIE!
But of course, I need to speak to him first,
My mouth was dry with an unquenchable thirst!

“Ben!” I shouted, and he gave me a glance,
“Do you have the French homework by any chance?!”
Was all I could muster without being sick.
He must have thought I was really quite thick.

He handed me a book and I took it with a smile,
I could leave him my note, a short hey and hello,
He’d find it and ask me to marry him I know!

Instead I just write out the French word for word,
And decide that my plan was utterly absurd!
I’m chasing him and of that there’s no need,
He’s the man of my dreams so I’ll let him lead.

As the years went by my feelings for him changed,
No more lust or love, a relationship rearranged.
We’re still friends now and he still has my heart,
And I think of him dearly even when we’re apart.

He knows how I felt back then back in school,
And he’s never once made me feel like a fool.
He will always be my first childhood crush,
Who I watched and adored and loved so much.

He’s one of my firsts I remember so gladly,
And how so many girls loved him so madly.
And how I did too but never let on,
That’s history now, those days have all gone.

So that was a first for me in years gone by,
One of many like dancing or learning to fly,
Or getting drunk at a party with your very best friend,
Or ending up bruised because his honour you defend.

So embrace all your firsts and enjoy them with glee
Your first hole in one straight off the tee
Your first morning breath as you get out of bed,
And thanking the Lord you didn’t wake up dead.

Firsts will come often, time and again,
You’ll not always know where or when.
I’ve had a few today and this poem is one,
But I’m going to sit down now as this poem is done

Old LiveJournal Entry

I went back and had a look at my old LiveJournal and found this entry from 2009.  See after the post for my comments on it.

Feb. 24th, 2009

I got asked the other day at work why I don’t wear my hearing aid as much as I did when I first started.

“Two reasons. Firstly most of the people I work with have got used to be now and seem to compensate for my deafness; they talk a little louder or directly at me so I can see their lips. Secondly I think my hearing is getting worse and the hearing aid isn’t doing as much as it should. Either that or it’s broke,” I answered.

I’m right on all of the above.

Some people have started compensating, they turn to look at me when they’re talking to me. If we’re sitting anywhere I’ll sit opposite me so I can see them clearly.

My hearing aid is actually broken. There are two switches on it. One is a volume wheel but the other is a little special. In position one all the inputs are open and the hearing should be as close to normal as possible. In position two it cuts out background noise. This is useful in bars and clubs as it means the person I look at is the voice I hear the loudest rather than all the noise being at the same level. The downside is that if someone behind me calls me then it’s doubtful I’ll hear them. The third position is for T-loops in cinemas and/or big shops. A t-loop is a telecoil which bascially means the cinema can broadcast the audio directly to the hearing aid. It’s great as long as it’s set up correctly – which it rarely is! Position three is totally useless without the loop.

Well position one seems to have stopped working, position two doesn’t give me enough of a hearing boost and I rarely go anywhere that would warrant using position three. Already my hearing aid appears semi-redundant.

I have noticed recently that my hearing is getting worse and it does worry me quite a lot actually.

When I first got my hearing test results I was told by the consultant that my left ear would go in about five years – at his best guess – my right ear could be anything from ten to twenty. This was two years ago. I think he was wrong. Going from how I feel now I think it’ll be sooner.

In fact, I think my left is nearly totally gone and my right ear is nearly at the state my left ear was this time two years ago.

At least Bert and I learnt sign language when we did. I think it’s time to take it further though.

I really don’t know what is going to be worse. Not being able to hear him anymore or not being able to listen.

What I find interesting about this post is that although my hearing has got worse it hasn’t gone as quickly as this post suggests it would.

I’m on two hearing aids now and they work well.

Night Shift

Night Shift

Night shifts aren’t too bad.

As long as everything goes well that is! The guys I look after are usually all in bed by 10.30pm and then it’s just a case of doing the different tasks of a night duty.

It’s better in the summer when you can watch the sun come up around 5am but, in the winter when the sum comes up around 7.30am you can get to use it as an alarm clock as you know you don’t have long left at work.

The only downside to nightshifts is once all the jobs are done it can be a struggle to find something to fill the time that keeps you awake!

Image shows the Art Loyola building at NUIG


I’m doing my placement at the Galway Centre for Independent Living.

It’s a great place the offer some great services.

The Independent Living Movement came about because of the disability rights movement in the US, which started in the 1960s.

Ed Roberts was a quadriplegic who dealt with discrimination. His fight for acceptance in schools, however, is what Roberts is most well known for. In high school, he was stopped from graduating because he could not complete his gym requirement, as he was paralysed and spent most of his time in an iron lung.

His biggest educational challenge came when he was accepted at college. After struggling to get accepted, Berkeley refused to give Roberts financial aid. He then sued Berkeley for access and integration.

Although he won the case, Roberts was housed in school’s infirmary instead of the dorms. As others with disabilities started attending the school and living in the infirmary, an activist group called the Rolling Quads was formed. They ended up starting the Disabled Students’ Program, a resource for those with disabilities that was run by people with disabilities. This program led to the first independent living centre in America being made.

The movement’s message seems most popular among people whose lives depend on assistance with the activities of daily living and who, in the view of the IL Movement, are most exposed to custodial care, paternalistic attitudes and control by professionals.


Wasn’t a great year was it?

COVID has really screwed things up.

Haven’t seen my parents since December 2019.

Hopefully 2021 will be better and covid gone soon!

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday

My husband is 40 today.

We’re going to stay at the Twelve in Barna as a celebration. It’s be strange what with it being lockdown and us not being allowed to travel but at least we get to celebrate.

Happy birthday my darling x

I wish I could speak Irish

I wish I could speak Irish

Okay, the title is true but also misleading.

I do wish I could speak Irish but that’s also the name of an Irish class I enrolled in though uni.

I’ve tried learning Irish through Duolingo and man is it hard! And also, as much as I think Duolingo is great for languages Spanish and German, it’s awful for Irish. With this other languages you get to hear the word said so you know how to pronounce it. With Irish you don’t hear it.

So as I want to learn Irish I decided to try signing up to classes that USI were putting on.

Well I didn’t realise it would be a student lead class. It’s not an easy language to learn and it ended up being made all the more difficult by an unruly group and a teacher who, although they can speak Irish, doesn’t really know how to teach it.

Suffice to say I manage it until week two. Or well. Onwards and upwards, lets see if I can find another way of learning.

The worst few weeks

I’ve written and re-written this post a dozen times to try and get my thoughts out there about the last few weeks and how awful they’ve been.

Various things have been going on from my parents getting scammed to both Brad and I being ill as well as few other situations I didn’t want to be.

Regardless of all that one tragic even rings in my head constantly. No matter how sick Brad or I was, no matter how difficult university or work has been and no matter how pissed off I’ve being, even at things I can’t control, everything fades into insignificance to one major event.

Last week we had to say goodbye to Murphy. Our precious baby girl had a congenital kidney problem and although we (well, the vet) did everything they could to help her, three days after getting her home she was back to being sick and we had to make the difficult decision to say goodbye.

Rufus has spent the days and nights looking for her. And so have I.

She was loved. She was adored. I miss her so much. She was too young to go and I’m really struggling with this. Our precise girl. My heart is broken.

Goodnight my beautiful girl.

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Image shows the Art Loyola building at NUIG

And we’re back…

Here I am starting my second year at university.

After completing last year I officially get a certificate in Social Care. A certificate that essentially doesn’t mean a lot if I want to take this career further. I’m still trying to arrange a placement. My placement last term was cut short due to the coronavirus so I’ll have 35 hours to add on to wherever I get. It’s difficult to find somewhere as people still aren’t taking students due to the pandemic.

Our class size has dropped from sixty-ish on day one to thirty. Most blaming the pandemic, some saying they only ever wanted the certificate — I don’t believe that. The certificate is available through various other means that are way cheaper than a year at NUIG.

I’ve enjoyed my first year. I enjoyed my time with Aisling at GAP. I enjoyed making new friends.

Here’s to the second year!

I’m on to you!

I’ve a suspicion that for a few months now I’m being “subtweeted” by a guy on Twitter.

For those of you that don’t know, subtweeting is where you post a status that is targeted at someone without actually mentioning (or tagging) them. It’s often because you want to mock them or because you disagree with something they’ve said and you’re not brave enough to say it outright. Occasionally it’s done on purpose to prove a point and without any ambiguity, but still not tagging the person.

This has been going on for a few months, in fact probably it’s more like twelve months since I first noticed it.

What happens is I tweet something and a week or so later he posts something that contradicts or mocks what I’ve put. There is, of course, the very real chance it’s coincidence but it’s happened too often for me to be comfortable with that idea.

Lets say I post “I love using yellow highlighters” then a week or so later he’ll post “People who love using yellow highlighters are such a cliche,” but will continue with a diatribe about why he feels this way.

It happens about once a month.

I’m not going to give direct examples, or even name the guy, because hey, if he can subtweet then so can I.

I’m expecting, maybe next week, a status from him saying “People who post blog posts about people who subtweet are so out of touch!” Or something like that.

We’ll see.